Omg Murder
by ACT II
Summary: A half parody of those pesky Murder Mysteries! Crazy Hand invites stupid and creepy guests as Smashers while a killer goes around acting scary. Also Horror and Mystery. FINISHED.
1. 1: Omg Murder!

I should finish a story before I write a new one I know but bleh!

Besides this came out alot like my 'House of Horrorz' the wanted it to be like.

I already finished the story so I can't change it as I update, sorry.

This is a Horror/Humor/Mystery/Parody that will be serious and funny, mostly funny, all the time. If you liked my weird 'Something Freaking Scary Comes To Town' or'JACK ATTACK' or JoebTheGreat's 'The Scary Days!' you'll like this.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the typical mom andthe Smoo. Nothing else... or do I?

* * *

It was a scary windy night and Young Link stared in horror at his extra large happy bunny stuffed animal in the dark, why did he ever get it when he was ten years old? The boy snuck out of bed and ran screaming to the door, slapped into it four times, opened it, and ran into the hall. 

He crept over to a window, which was bathing the carpet in the cold moonlight with only a jagged tree half covering up the blue shine, "Teh skaree!1" L33ted Link.

The younger Link ran past the window to the bathroom. He flicked the light switch on and went to take a wiz when the water in the toilet shot out like a fountain, it rushed onto the ceiling and filled up the ceiling space like the room was upside down. It flooded toward him rapidly, uh in a rapid way.

"ACT II and his crazy death scenes!" Young Link said calmly. Unfortunately fourth-wall breakage was frigging cliché and the boy drowned quickly.

Scary laughter echoed around that no one heard.

Annoying supernatural powers…

* * *

**_OmgMurder_**

* * *

The next day Roy was whistling a Barney song outside the mansion, it was all sunny and not scary. Suddenly the bushes rustled. The Altean stopped everything and paused dramatically. Out came Crazy Hand. 

"COME QUICK! THERE'S NEW SMASHERS!" he screamed and flew along past Roy who tried to keep up.

Turning the corner Roy stopped for breath, "LOOK ROY!" the glove yelled once again. He looked up to see… Mario and Luigi.

"What the fudge? They've been here longer than me," stated Roy.

Crazy took a double take, attacked the two with a chainsaw, ushered in the new Smashers and said, "Here they are!"

"NO!" Roy cried and slit his wrists with his beloved Sword of Seals, then ran off screaming while the sick and twisted glove laughed, much like the scary voice, hmm…

Anyway the creepy lineup consisted of Sonic and Shadow, how typical… Packman, your mom, well a typical mom, characters from Winnie the Pooh and Dora the Explorer, (So hard for me to write that…) a zombie from the first Resident Evil, my pet dog; Smoo, Wario, and Pit, some redeeming value.

Dr. Mario, Marth, and Captain Falcon (the last two in nurses outfits (poor Marth and Falcon)) pulled out a stretcher and rushed Luigi and Mario away. Never noticing Crazy Hand's chainsaw, because it was missing.

Dora said something in Spanish, no one cared, and the zombie ate her brains.

The Smoo blasted the reanimated corpse with twin tricked-out machine-gun-like elephant guns and yipped,

"Wait 'till my bro and everyone else finds out…" Crazy snickered while rubbing his hands together, but he was just one hand and fainted.

Marth and Roy slapped into each other in the hall.

"What are you doing Roy?" Marth asked, in his normal garb and taking a Tylenol that appeared from out of nowhere.

"Crazy Hand played a sick joke on us all…" Roy replied, rubbing his head.

Shadow walked up to them, "Hey, I'm your equivalent with obsessed fan girls… Cruel, cruel fan girls…" all three shivered at their experiences. Yoshi, noticed they were shivering and thought it was something that cool people do, so he shivered with them.

Link and Ganondorf were calling each other names you would hear from 1st graders when Sonic approached them, thought what they were doing was something cool people do and didn't do it 'cause he was a rebel.

Mr. Game and watch saw Packman and ran over, clicking on the floor as he went, and picked him up. The liquid-crystal figure chucked him at Winnie's head who was knocked senseless and ran around beeping, the typical mother thought he was swearing and washed his mouth out with soap.

Mewtwo saw the chaotic chaos before him as he entered the room and froze everyone momentarily with his sparkly mind powers.

Peach, escaping the stupid-ness, went to the bathroom, but it was closed, she knocked on it "Hello?" no response.

She slowly turned the knob. Water washed from the crack at the top of the door. Confused she stepped back, and plucked out a turnip. She raised it and tossed it at the door to avoid being close to it when she opened it. The door swung open to show Young Link.

"Oh Okay." She calmly said and walked off to tell Master Hand "I'm always the one who find the first body…" she sighed.

After the funeral everyone ran around screaming to the mansion.

"I wondered who killed him, we were so close…" pondered Sonic,

"You never saw him, you still haven't seen him, you don't even know his name! Idiot." Samus shouted,

"Your just mad 'cause I have three cartoons! You never liked me!" Sonic cried and ran off,

"I don't know who you are either! Who am I? What am I? Bleh." Samus said and fainted.

Suddenly the lights slowly flickered on and off as a song in a certain sitcom episode that's been parodied in SSB and Sonic fiction because those twoauthors aren't original (like me)played. (The fics are Hell and Melee HQ (SSB) and Killer Halloween (Sonic) just to be annoying)

"Here's a knife, here's gun! They'll be fun for everyone! Death is on the menu tonight!" The song sounded like it was from some time in the 30's.

"Oh poo." Master Hand sighed, floating into his office. Then watched crappy Nickelodeon shows.

The next day Ness called eight… people over to help them unravel the mystery of the murderer that would make everyone go 'WTF noob?'.

* * *

Yay. Review please, and flames will be excepted as muffins. 


	2. 2: Omg Chase!

Ok since 'My Teeth!' I've officially been anaverage person in reviews... I think... Might not hope... 'Jigglypuff Roasts People' looks like my most popular fic.

I think I just started bad with a badly made murder mystery, actually that was my second fic, my first one was in the Mario section AND NO BODY REVIEWED!1

Or did they?

That joke is getting old, or is it? (YAY! Always have that to back me up.)

* * *

The Smashers and sick-joke 'Smashers' went outside to see… 

"WTF noob?" everyone said all at once.

There were Throwbots AKA Silzers.

"THE PLUGS, THEY BURN MY EYES!" Nana screamed in horror and ran around in triangles.

"This is stoopid…" Capt. Falcon said angrily and through some horse poo at Ness.

"YAY LEGOS!" Pikachu said and tried playing with Electro, electrocuting each other.

There was Jet, a black and yellow robot, Torch, a black and red robot, Electro, a black and purple robot, Granite, a tan and gray robot, Scuba, a blue and light blue robot, Amazon, a green and light green robot, Turbo, a yellow and green robot, and last but not least Ski, a white and light blue robot.

"Now we must keep Pichu away from the small parts because he could choke." explained the typical mom,

"Their six feet tall in this world." Ganondorf said,

"Well, um, you- I…" She cracked a chair over his head; the evil wizard of the dark realm fell unconscious, "Who wants apples?"

"ME!" everyone, even the hands and Throwbots, even herself said.

Anyway they all got along except for Donkey Kong who raved about how there were too many people, no one liked raving so they ignored him and watched Family Guy because the kids wanted to.

After that everyone got down to business.

"It seems that the murder victim died a weird and stupid death." Jet said,

"How did you figure that out?" Fox asked,

"Well, um, I-" he threw his disk at Fox who dodged it, it hit Bowser who cried and Zelda kissed the booboo to make it better, Link and Mario said 'WTF' while running back and forth.

"I'm glad we're special guests!" Said Tigger,

"Why?" Link asked,

"Because we won't die and only the people that the readers like will die!"

"O RLY, noob?" Link asked and went to decapitate him, but the killer jumped out in a Ghost Face costume and stabbed Link along with Psycho music.

"Grrr… Scream plug… **Two** plugs you stupid person! Two plugs!" Falco said, shaking his fist at the sky.

"NOEZ! MY LINK!" Zelda cried and ran over to Link, "Now I'll _have_ to go out with Bowser!"

Marth rode Yoshi, following the murderer inside.

They turned a corner to see him standing still. Marth stabbed him, only to find out that it was just the costume held up by a coat rack.

"That doesn't make since, it would be easily found out that it wasn't him!" Marth complained.

Then the murderer in the shadows revved a chainsaw and swiped at Marth, missed, and hit that monkey from Dora the Explorer who died from the horror of it all. Marth tripped the killer who fell onto his/her side.

As he raised his sword, the murderer pulled out a Bobomb duct taped with motion-censor bombs. It exploded, blowing up the hall as Yoshi ran out.

"MARHT BLUE LIEK UPZ!" Yoshi screamed, "Questionable about the killer, of course."

Nothing funny happened in a while so Dr. Mario farted and everyone laughed at his expense.

"Seriously though, I'm frigging getting out of here!" Shadow said and ran off. The killer, back in the costume, jumped in front of him, they slapped into each other really hard.

The killer then ran over the 'ultimate life form' back and forth with a golf cart. He/she stopped and looked at everyone else and disappeared.

Suddenly there was a cracking sound. Around the side of the house came the jagged dead tree, walking with its roots. It picked up Falcon by the feet and beat Master Hand.

Bowser and Torch just set it on fire. Big wup.

Everyone got on Turbo because he had wheels; sadly he was crushed under the weight.

They then just plain ran inside.

The killer dragged Shadow, Turbo, Boots, Marth, Master Hand, and Link away one at a time as evening turned to night.

The Smoo dog took out his guns but had used the last of his bullets killing the zombie.

Everyone reached a small food storage closet. But Wario, Tigger, Winnie, Piglet, Pichu, and Sonic all ran in, Piglet locked the door and swallowed the key.

"Since there are too many people in this closet, I shall reduce you, Sega and Nintendo characters _only_!" he revved a big chainsaw and neared them,

"You're right, we will run out of food soon, then we will… HAVE TO EAT EACH OTHER!" Pichu said hysterically, he electrocuted the evil stuffed animal and began furiously nibbling on his head.

"Yay! Go Pichu!" Sonic and Wario said simultaneously.

"Why don't you say that to my face jackass!" Pooh said,

"We never insulted you!" Yelled Wario,

The bear took out a spiked whip and cracked it threateningly. Sonic just punched him out.

"Open the door this instant fictional characters!" the typical mom ordered.

They opened it and ran out, everyone ran down the hall leaving behind Winnie, the killer took the chainsaw and whip.

The Smashers and Throwbots reached an insanely big dumbwaiter, yet it was still too small for _all_ of them.

"Let's just all squeeze inside," suggested Samus.

"Nah, Hey look! A pretty thing!" Tigger said, all of the Throwbots, Donkey Kong, Jigglypuff, Falcon, and Mr. Game and Watch went over to the direction he pointed to, "Psych!" he yelled, and pushed the button to go up, everyone else not written jumped in to the dumbwaiter in the nick of time.

"Hey, he tricked us!" Ski said, then the murderer flew over them, dropping chainsaws.

While they went up, it suddenly jolted to a stop in between floors, "The killer must have stopped it somehow!" Roy said cheese-ily.

Zelda went to crawl out of the small crack at the bottom when Tigger pushed her back and eagerly squeezed his head out. Then the killer let the rope go. Tigger's head was crushed, then decapitated.

Peach almost tossed her cookies from all the stuffing.

At the top they got out, the kitchen! Everyone had a lot of Oreos.

* * *

If you have an idea of who it is, tell me! Yelling's fun! Exclaimtation point!

(Insert blank expression of Lego head here)


	3. 3: Omg Climax!

I don't blame you for not reviewing this because of me updating it so quickly, I blame society!

Seriously.

* * *

After the Oreos, Peach got out some wine "Yummers, wine!" she drank straight from the bottle. 

After half the bottle was gone "I DON'T LIKE CHEESE 'CAUSE IT TASTES UGLY." Peach declared and fainted, out the window.

Roy lunged to grab her but missed.

He meekly peeked out the window to see the killer had caught her.

'_Annoying supernatural-ness…_' he thought.

The killer disappeared in black mist along with her.

"She should have stopped when I said that I disapproved of her drinking habit." The typical mom remarked,

Everyone headed out of the kitchen and into a dark hall. On either side of them was a hallway that went into the darkness; Pichu threw a stick that was unexplainably inside into the blackness. Then a giant, white spider leg pushed the Pokemon into the darkness who yelped.

Everyone ran down the other end of the hall as something crawled up onto the wall, laughing evilly/annoyingly.

In the dark all twenty-four slapped into the door at the very end, Bowser felt along the wall. He felt the light switch and flicked it on.

"ZOMG!" they all said at once as the white thing slipped on the costume before anyone could recognize who or what it was.

It stared,

They stared,

It stared,

They stared,

The costume ripped apart to reveal a weird blobby, liquid/fog mass floating there, arms and heads, forming and reaching out.

Ness, Pit, Wario, Mario, and Sonic all ran into it and turned into cotton candy statues of themselves.

"DON'T LOOK INTO ITS EYES!" yelled Bowser, who ironically looked into its eyes and ran into the mass.

"Hypocrite!" Kirby said, looked into its eyes and ran into it.

"Run!" Zelda said typically. The Smashers opened the door and ran through.

The seventeen found themselves in the living room.

"OMG LIVING ROOM!" Yoshi said.

"Go! I'll hold the evil off!" Mewtwo shouted and faced the door behind him.

"K!" Everyone else said at once and ran outside.

Mewtwo sealed the door shut with his powers, a giant skull emboss imprinted on the door that stretched out, suddenly the door shattered into tiny chips littering the floor. Before he knew it the blackness engulfed him and floated on.

Outside, the Smashers were looking in the window to see the cloud hover to the doors, they turned to see them open and out float the thing. Two tentacle-things shot out and wrapped around Packman and yanked him in, the evil floated away to show the cotton candy figure blow up.

Ganondorf, once again, saw the eyes and ran into it.

"Let's go into the rose maze!" Samus said. They dashed across the dark yard to a maze of trimmed bushes ten feet tall. Dr. Mario being last, closed the gate behind them, but the shadow blob gripped his wrist tightly with an arm.

Roy reached a dead end; he spun around to see the thing rush at him. Roy took out a chainsaw and sawed a hole in the wall to his right and ran through.

The Swordsman looked down one way, then the other, he sprint around a corner, then another, then slapped into Zelda, "OW!" they cried, rubbing their faces.

"Let's go!" Roy said, getting up and helping her up as well. The two quickly ran around a corner to see the Smoo-dog barking at them, he had found the way out. Suddenly Fox slapped into them, "OW!" the three cried.

Getting to his feet, Roy noticed that a passageway breaking away to the right of them had the evil mass, waiting to snatch them up. The three walked towards the Smoo, picking up pace quickly. Right up to it, it jumped out at them, Roy, who was holding onto Zelda's hand, slid under, bringing her down also, avoiding the tasty death. Fox slid under also. Roy, Zelda, and Fox scrambled to get up.

Suddenly five hands grabbed Fox and pulled him in.

Zelda tried opening the gate, but wasn't budging; "Huh?" she looked up to see some wispy ribbons of shadows holding it shut. Behind them the thing moved closer. Roy took out his Sword of Seals and chopped at the tentacle-things reaching out of the mass, they broke away into free smoke and were sucked back into it. Roy kicked the gate open and pulled Zelda along, the Smoo at his heels.

At the open doors of the mansion, the lights shining across the lawn, they ran in. The Smoo propped his guns under the knobs, Roy and Zelda stepped back as the doors jolted.

The doors were knocked to the side as the thing menacingly floated inside, "NUTS!" Zelda said, it charged at her, Roy dashed in and pushed her out of the way.

The darkness jumped behind Zelda where it got her.

"WTF? You're supposed to get me! That's how it always goes!" Roy shouted,

"What's happening? I was just cleaning up the mess you guys made and-" the typical mom said, saw the evil, and sped off into the mansion on a bike.

The Smoo jumped into Roy's arms as he backed up into the wall. It stopped a few feet away, the faceless heads morphing around in the mass got faces suddenly, "Come boy and dog, we want you." Bowser's corrupted soul said, his face appearing on one of the heads,

"Oh and typical mom too, stupid bike…" Peach's soul said,

"We need you! I don't know why, but we need you!" Yoshi's soul said,

"NOES!" Roy cried, then the image disappeared, "YAY!" Crazy Hand was in his place, "HUH?"

"WE SO GOT JOO!" He said, the dog licked Roy's face, he must have been on it too.

"I'm confused…" Roy said,

The typical mom rode back in while the Smashers walked in from outside, "GOT JOO!" they said in unison.

"This was all a prank!" Master Hand said,

"But how did you all do all that?" Roy asked, annoyed that he wasn't in on the joke.

"Me and my bro are magical!" Master Hand replied, "Don't worry, everyone that were the new Smashers, except Pit, Wario, Shadow, and Sonic, didn't know about the joke either.

"Oh, so they can come out now…" Roy asked.

…

…

…

"…Right?" he added timidly.

"Well," Crazy Hand said, "This whole joke had a moral; never put in weird characters that the reader might not like and have them all live because they're special guests, and… stuff."

"Well that's rude!" ACT II said, "What if someone who wrote one like that read this?"

"Shut up, you're the one writing this!" the glove said,

"Oh right." He said.

"But that was rude to say!" Roy explained,

"O YA?" Master Hand asked.

"Why did I get this weird death when no one saw it?" Young Link asked,

"To be really realistic!" Crazy Hand replied.

Roy stared blankly at the wall, past the wall.

The dumbwaiter that they got into.

The tree that attacked them.

The maze that disoriented him.

The hall that held darkness.

The bathroom that flooded.

The courtyard where the chase began.

All no danger. Nothing bad really happened.

All Roy could say was "I wonder if Burger King is still open."

The End

* * *

Boo. 

Also; Yay twist ending, bet you didn't expect it to be like that! I hate things with messages though...

I'll **probably** delete House of Horrorz because this went the way I wanted that to be like more than itself..?

REVIEW OR DON'T BUT PLZ DO ANIWAI!


End file.
